Dear Veronica

Dear veronica,


Long time no talk…


Please remove yourself from this moment


So we can take a walk


I have some things I would like to tell


You are no longer the reason y I fail


Why I hurt.


You are no longer the reason I need to try


Need to cry


Need to live without having to die


Need to lie


To myself


And to others


You are a horrible mother


Have been a horrible sis


But without you


 There would have been so many possibilities that I would have missed


I have had so much anger towards you…


Will you dismiss?


Will you forgive?


Im so very sorry that you CHOSE THE WAY I LIVED


Im sorry I always ran


Im sorry that I never took your hand


Nor took the time to understand


Here I am now


Ready to make a stand


Was a boy


I am now becoming a man


Will you understand?


Please forgive me for not showing you my love


Please GOD…PLEASE just let me give her a hug


A kiss


Forgive me Veronica for all the things I have missed


Forgive me for my arrogance


For my self pity ways


Many rackets have left me plagued


I used you for a crutch for the longest of time


You were my favorite racket


One of a kind


But now,


I no longer need your racket to play my game


A blank canvas leaves me with possibilities for days, for years


I no longer need to paint my canvas w tears.


And when they throw dirt on me


and bury me 6 feet in dust


I want to exit this world w a painting that would leave Van Gogh




And I want to show you


“look at my canvas that you help me paint”


Your one of the biggest reasons


I am successful


Thank you for everything you have done for me


Shown me


Im sorry I used you as an excuse to be lonely…


If I cant love you


I can never love myself


I need your forgiveness


For my emotional health


I love you veronica


And I wouldn’t trade you for the world


I thank you for one boy and 2 little girls


I cant wait till you get out


So we can share our worlds…


I love you veronica and hope you will forgive me


Love your brother,

Joey Bellus


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