Dear Veronica

Dear veronica,

 

Long time no talk…

 

Please remove yourself from this moment

 

So we can take a walk

 

I have some things I would like to tell

 

You are no longer the reason y I fail

 

Why I hurt.

 

You are no longer the reason I need to try

 

Need to cry

 

Need to live without having to die

 

Need to lie

 

To myself

 

And to others

 

You are a horrible mother

 

Have been a horrible sis

 

But without you

 

 There would have been so many possibilities that I would have missed

 

I have had so much anger towards you…

 

Will you dismiss?

 

Will you forgive?

 

Im so very sorry that you CHOSE THE WAY I LIVED

 

Im sorry I always ran

 

Im sorry that I never took your hand

 

Nor took the time to understand

 

Here I am now

 

Ready to make a stand

 

Was a boy

 

I am now becoming a man

 

Will you understand?

 

Please forgive me for not showing you my love

 

Please GOD…PLEASE just let me give her a hug

 

A kiss

 

Forgive me Veronica for all the things I have missed

 

Forgive me for my arrogance

 

For my self pity ways

 

Many rackets have left me plagued

 

I used you for a crutch for the longest of time

 

You were my favorite racket

 

One of a kind

 

But now,

 

I no longer need your racket to play my game

 

A blank canvas leaves me with possibilities for days, for years

 

I no longer need to paint my canvas w tears.

 

And when they throw dirt on me

 

and bury me 6 feet in dust

 

I want to exit this world w a painting that would leave Van Gogh

 

 Jealous

 

And I want to show you

 

“look at my canvas that you help me paint”

 

Your one of the biggest reasons

 

I am successful

 

Thank you for everything you have done for me

 

Shown me

 

Im sorry I used you as an excuse to be lonely…

 

If I cant love you

 

I can never love myself

 

I need your forgiveness

 

For my emotional health

 

I love you veronica

 

And I wouldn’t trade you for the world

 

I thank you for one boy and 2 little girls

 

I cant wait till you get out

 

So we can share our worlds…

 

I love you veronica and hope you will forgive me

 

Love your brother,

Joey Bellus

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s